From the cornfield – Things Yankees just don’t understand

  • Why the Masters is so important to someone from Georgia.  Even if you don’t like golf, for four beautiful days, the firmament is focused on Augusta.  The Masters is rebirth and spring.  It stands for all that is pure in sports, even if the membership is all men.  It represents the ultimate meritocracy.  You win to get in.  You win it all if you play flawless golf for four days.  You don’t show up on the last day, you don’t win. There is nothing more beautiful, other than my children wearing red and black singing “Glory, Glory”, than the greens, the sundresses, the occasional Georgia hat and the azaleas on Amen corner.  It is a ‘Tradition Unlike Any Other.’


  • Spring football.  I am pretty sure Illinois is having it.  My office is very close to the practice facility and I haven’t seen any football.  I have been asked at least 10 times, “Is Georgia’s Spring Game really on ESPN this Saturday?”  Yeah.  It really is.
  • That playing softball in 40 degree weather isn’t ok, just because ‘at least the sun is out.’  Yeah, having the sun out makes all the difference when your sack freezes to the side of your leg.  At least the beer stays cold.
  • That having to wait until May to play golf is ridiculous. Sorry, I don’t mind the heat of July, so give me February to November golf every time.  I have a cooler to keep the beer cold.
  • BBQ is pork, not an event.  Had the discussion the other day. Again.
  • That fried is the best way to eat fish, pork chops and pickles.  Smoked is the best way to eat chicken and pork loin.  Green Beans should be boiled with ham or bacon. A lot.
  • Lewis Grizzard.

4 Responses to “From the cornfield – Things Yankees just don’t understand”

  1. April 9, 2009 at 10:09 am

    The Masters used to be so great. I’m afraid that the Augusta National has done everything in its power to ruin what made the Masters so great. By adding so much length to offset the advances in technology the Augusta National has essentially turned the golf course into a US Open setup if the wind blows at all. Last year was the most boring final round of Masters golf I can remember in my lifetime because no one made a charge.

    The old phrase “The Masters doesn’t really begin until the back nine on Sunday” is now a thing of the past. What made the Masters great was that guys could make runs on the back nine on Sunday and provide an exciting finish. Last year some guy named Immelman won because he made less mistakes than the rest of the field, not because he made a hard charge. He wasn’t even challenged on the back nine. The course was just too difficult once the wind started blowing. Maybe people enjoy that kind of thing, but frankly The Masters is no longer a unique event. Sure, you’ve got the perfectly manicured grounds and beautfil scenery that will always atand out. But from a golf perspective it is no different than the US Open. To win on Sunday you have to survive, not attack. I just think it’s sad.

  2. 2 bulldoginexile
    April 9, 2009 at 10:50 am

    Great. Now I am depressed. Only because you are right, if it is windy.

    • April 9, 2009 at 1:49 pm

      I guess I was trying to be more wistful than anything, but my comment came across in a depressing tone. I was born and raised in Augusta so the Masters will always be near and dear to me. I just think the people in charge of making the course change decisions lost sight of what made the tournament so special and freaked out when Tiger Woods started hitting bombs past everyone in 1997. They tried to “Tiger Proof” the golf course, but in the process have killed what makes the tournament so great.

      It really sucks, but with the current setup I just don’t see any special back nine charges like Nicklaus in ’86 or O’Meara did in ’98. Maybe someone will prove me wrong and there will be an exciting end, but last year’s results leave me less than optimistic.

  3. 4 mykiesee
    April 10, 2009 at 2:36 pm

    I love being a Southerner and having knowledge and understanding that Yankees never will. It’s a good thing, nay, one of the best things.

    Keep up the good work. Your blog is one of my favorites.

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A Georgia Dawg in the Mid-West alone with his thoughts.

BBQ, Ball and Bets

There's nothing like a sunny fall afternoon, pork BBQ (with mustard sauce, of course!), a pregame tailgate, and...betting online. You heard me right. With a laptop and an internet connection you can check the odds of any game from the 50 yard line. Now that's convenience and will make your tailgate all the more interesting when some dude mentions just how much of a good bet a certain game is.
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